


Say That You Love Me

by MarshalCommand



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Angst, Hanahaki Disease, Love, M/M, Mentions of Blood, Sorry Not Sorry, Unrequited Love, dying character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-15 05:29:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29679144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarshalCommand/pseuds/MarshalCommand
Summary: Grif has a secret, he's been in love with his closest friend for a while and the pain of it is finally catching up to him. When he begins coughing up flower petals he knows he either needs to confess, or let the disease claim him.
Relationships: Dexter Grif & Dick Simmons, Dexter Grif/Dick Simmons
Comments: 12
Kudos: 20





	1. Petals

Grif stared down into his hand as he pulled it away from his face. The petals lying in his palm soaked in his own blood, the once likely beautiful tiger lily petals stained and tainted. His gut twisted as he rinsed his hand clean in the sink, watching the offending petals run down the drain with the flow of water tainted red. Grif used soap to clean all remaining traces from his hand and and rinsed his mouth clean with water to remove the metallic taste. It had only been 2 days since it started and it was only growing worse. 

Hanahaki. 

Grif had heard stories of the disease all throughout his life, about how people so madly in love with somebody who doesn't return their feelings, or feelings remain unknown develop the disease. Flowers begin to grow in their lungs, couching up petals and blood until the flowers overtake the lungs completely, slowly suffocating the host until they die. There were treatments, but they removed the ability to feel love for that person and were very risky. 

Grif had always tried to hard to not fall in love. He always told himself to not care, just avoid love and never look for it. Yet he'd found it even though he had not been looking for it. He'd fallen in love with his best and closest friend and he knew that he didn't like him back. It was only a matter of days before this disease killed him, and he didn't feel like getting his heart broken before he died. He cleaned the rest of the petals and blood up before leaving the washroom. He walked back outside to where the others were and felt his heart skip a beat when he saw HIM.

Simmons was scolding Donut for something he'd done while Sarge praised Simmons for something he did. It was something so small, but even just the sight of Simmons could make Grif forget for just a moment that he was dying, dying because he loved Simmons and couldn't bear to tell him for fear of the rejection he was certain he would face. 

"Grif, get your lazy ass over here!" Sarge snapped and Grif sighed. One good thing about dying was he'd never have to listen to Sarge again he'd thought as he walked over. 

"Yeah Sarge?" Grif asked, holding back the cough that threatened to overtake him. 

"I want you and Simmons to survey the blues! And don't you dare think about sleeping on the job! Me and Donut are going with Lopez to check around for an advantage point to use against the blues!" Sarge said. Grif normally would have pointed out that they'd been in the gulch so long they knew every part of it pretty well, but he kept from saying it. What was the point. He'd be dead by the next attack anyway so it didn't matter much to him. 

"Yeah sure, whatever." Grif mumbled. He could feel Simmons looking at him but ignored him, the sudden urge to cough rising up again as he struggled to fight it off, eventually making a noise somewhat like he was clearing his throat before swallowing back the blood he'd been trying to cough out. 

"Yes sir Sarge." Simmons replied, nodding to the Sergeant before leading Grif up to the top of their base. Grif followed silently, listening to the sounds of Lopez arguing with Sarge in Spanish as the warthog drove off. "You okay Grif?" Simmons asked after a few moments of silence, concerned for his friend. 

"Yeah I'm okay Simmons." Grif replied, staring blankly out over the gulch. "Hey Simmons?" He asked after a while. 

"Yes?" 

"You ever wonder what comes after this?" 

"Well I do hope that I'll be promoted and moved somewhere with more action that here. We could have a much better base and actually kill the blues there." 

"No, meant after life, what do you think happens when we die?" 

"..Grif...are you sure you're okay?" 

"Yeah, sorry, just..need to think of something when you're out here right?" 

"Yes, I suppose so." Simmons replied slowly. Grif nodded and glanced over at him. 

"When I die, don't let Sarge speak at my funeral." Grif said. He made it sound like a joke, but deep down it was the truth. He was dying and the only thing that could save him was if Simmons loved him back, and he knew that could never happen.


	2. Don't let me go

Grif stood with Simmons on top of their base for how long he wasn't sure, but he was enjoying just being able to be close to Simmons. He fought back cough after cough, not wanting Simmons to know about his condition, knowing it would only lead to him asking questions that Grif wasn't sure he wanted to answer. 

"Hey Grif?" Simmons asked after a while, turning to look at him. 

"Yeah Simmons?" Grif replied, fighting back another cough, the dull metallic taste of blood filling his mouth. 

"You've been really quiet today, are you sure everything's alright?" Simmons asked slowly. Grif's heart broke at the concern in his tone. 

'No, I'm not alright, I love you and I'm dying because I love you.' Grif thought. "Yeah I'm alright." Grif said instead. 

"Grif, you don't have to lie to me." 

'Yes I do.' "I'm not lying Simmons, I'm fine really." 

"Grif.." 

"Simmons I told you-" Grif's words were cut off as a powerful cough overcame him. He bent over a bit as he coughed and coughed until hardly any air was left in his lungs. Finally the coughing stopped, leaving only pain in his chest as he struggled to breathe, the taste of bloodied petals lying across his tongue not doing anything to help. 

"Grif?!" Simmons shouted in worry, moving closer to Grif. Grif shook his head and pushed Simmons away before going to hurry into the base. Grif didn't care if Simmons followed, he was close to throwing up as the petals sat in his mouth, making him gag. He rushed into the closest restroom and nearly ripped his helmet off before spitting out all the blood and petals into the sink. The orange petals mixed with the red liquid as Grif continued to heave for air. He finally got enough air and turned on the sink, rinsing down all the offending petals. 

"Shit.." Grif mumbled, trying to rinse the taste from his mouth. He froze as a sound came from the doorway, and looking into the mirror only confirmed that Simmons was standing there. He'd seen the whole thing. 

"Grif...oh Grif.." Simmons started, "Why didn't you tell anyone?" 

"You think anyone would give a fuck Simmons? Sarge already wants me dead, the blues would have one less to fight, and Donut and Lopez wouldn't even notice I was gone." 

"Grif that's not true-"

"You know it is." Grif snapped sharply. "When I die the only person who might miss me would be my sister, and even then she'd move right on to partying." 

"I would miss you." Simmons replied quietly. Grif stayed silent, the unsaid words hanging on the edge of his tongue but he just couldn't bring himself to say it. He eventually opened his mouth to speak only to be ravaged by another series of coughs, this time he kept coughing and showed no signs of stopping even after he'd lost all his breath. He could distantly hear Simmons saying something to him before he passed out from the loss of air.


	3. I can't tell you

Grif slowly woke to the sounds of voices. He kept still and pretended to be asleep as he listened in on them, knowing the conversations would stop if he showed that he was awake. 

"How is he Doc?" Simmons asked, concern heavy in his voice.

"Not good, the disease is spreading fast and if he doesn't confess soon I don't think he'll live past tomorrow." Doc replied slowly. Grif tensed up a bit at his words, knowing his days were shortened by so much felt almost surreal, like it could have been somebody else they were talking to. 

"Isn't there anything you can do?" Simmons asked desperately. 

"No, I'm sorry. If I'd had a while more to prepare maybe we could have done the operation on him but the only thing that can save him now is if he confesses his feelings." Doc replied. Grif shifted a bit as his leg started to cramp and unknown to him Doc and Simmons looked over at him. "I'll let you talk to him, maybe you can convince him to talk to whoever he loves." Doc said before Grif heard his footsteps walking away. He heard Simmons walk over to sit in a chair next to him. 

"Grif?" Simmons asked softly. 

"Yeah?" Grif replied quietly, his throat feeling rough as he cracked open his eyes to look over at Simmons. 

"Who is it Grif?" Simmons asked, and Grif knew what he was talking about. He shook his head slowly. 

"Doesn't matter who." 

"Grif, it could save your life if you tell them."

"I'm not telling him, he wouldn't like me back so I'd still die anyways." 

"Is it Donut?"

"No."

"Lopez?" 

"No." 

"Sarge?!" 

"Oh fuck no!" 

"Is it one of the blues?" 

"No Simmons, it's not one of the blues." 

"Is it Doc then? It's Doc then..." 

"No, it's not Doc either." 

"Well who is it then?" Simmons asked, clearly confused. Grif looked down, fighting back the pain in his heart. This only proved Simmons doesn't like him if he wasn't even willing to consider himself as the source of Grif's love. 

"I'm not telling who." Grif replied. "I know if I told him, he'd leave, and I'd rather die knowing he was close to me than die knowing he hated me." 

"Gif, please, I don't want you to die." Simmons said, his voice cracking as he spoke. Grif stayed silent for a while before he spoke again. 

"Simmons, if..if you were me, what would you do?" Grif asked. Simmons looked down as he considered the question before taking a deep breath and replying. 

"I would tell you that I love you."


	4. I love you

Grif's heart seemed to stop as he froze, his mind trying to process Simmon's words. "I...you w-what?" Grif finally managed to say, looking up at Simmons, waiting to see if he was making some sick joke to try and make Grif feel better. Simmons shifted a bit and refused to meet Grif's gaze.

"I love you Grif, and I'm sorry I'm not the person who could save you. But, just the thought of you dying without ever knowing that somebody, that I, love you didn't feel right. I know you love somebody else and I'm sorry this is too late too save you, but I needed you to know and I'll love you even after you're gone." Simmons had started crying at some point and finally looked at Grif as tears ran down his face, "Grif I'd die without here and I know you don't feel the same but-" Simmons was cut off as Grif pressed his lips against his. Simmons froze before quickly kissing him back. Grif pulled Simmons close and held him there, tears starting to fall from his own eyes before finally pulling apart from their kiss. 

"I love you too Simmons." Grif said, watching confusion then joy run across Simmons' face. 

"You do?" Simmons asked as Grif nodded. 

"Oh I do Simmons, more than I ever thought you'd know." Grif replied, pulling him into another kiss. Simmons gladly returned it, wrapping his arms around Grif to hold him close. They both kissed until they needed air and Grif gently wiped away the tears that were still running down Simmons' face. "I love you." He said again, feeling like he could never say it enough times to even begin to show the depths of his love. 

"I love you too." Simmons replied softly, moving closer to Grif to cuddle up to him. Grif happily cuddled him back, both of them were grinning like idiots in love, which to be fair they were. Grif gently nuzzled Simmons' cheek. 

"Guess this means I'm not dying." Grif said softly as Simmons' tightened his grip on Grif. 

"Don't you dare go dying on me now." Simmons replied. They both chuckled a bit and cuddled closer, happy and in love. It would take Grif a few days to get rid of the disease, but now that he had Simmons, he was perfectly happy and ready to live, as long as he got to do everything with Simmons by his side. 

** Bonus ** 

Doc, Sarge, Donut, and Lopez watched the two crying lovebirds confess to one another before walking away to give them space, not before Donut had taken a picture of course. 

"Darnit, I was hoping we were going to lose Grif. Maybe then they could have sent me a better soldier." Sarge complained. 

"I can't believe Grif and Simmons got together!" Donut squealed, fanboying. 

'Those two were already like a married couple, everyone could see it but them.' Lopez commented in Spanish. 

"Donut, Lopez agrees that nobody wants to see Grif sucking on Simmons' face." 

"Um Sarge that's not how kissing works-" Doc started.

"And now Simmons is tainted, Donut, your the Simmons so you better start kissing my ass." 

"Yes sir Sarge!" 

"Donut! I didn't mean literally!"


End file.
